At today’s True Life Run, I crossed the finish line as people high-fived me for my inspiring performance. There was one problem: I wasn’t the first one there.

I got sixth place. Not bad but not what I hoped for. Technically they didn’t even have places, but I couldn’t help feeling a little animosity toward the five people who finished ahead of me. Darn you, lime green-jacket guy.

I think I had a shot at winning, but just like everyone who doesn’t win on The Amazing Race, I got tripped up. I had anticipated the dancing, so I nailed it at the dance party sections with the Stanky Legg. My acting, which I also prepared for, was at least middle school-play worthy. Unfortunately, I didn’t prepare for a geography quiz.

I was in the front pack when we came to a stop where we were asked a few geography questions.

“Name all the states that surround Missouri,” the man demanded. I named all eight.

“How many did you name?” the man asked.

I didn’t know, and I was tired. “Seven,” I said.

“Nope,” he said and then ignored me to address other runners.

I decided to leave. All I would get anyway was a wristband for the prize raffle later, but by this time my competitors’ edge was insurmountable.

My Great Aunt Grace is famous for saying, “Pride comes before the fall.” Well, I fell face first on a map of the U.S.

Nonetheless, the race was a blast, and I could definitely see myself doing it again. Hopefully next year I won’t get blindsided with trigonometry or astrophysics.

— Matt Drochelman