Coming from a 21-year-old who has no idea what comes next (isn’t that where we all are?) I don’t think I’ve been more eager to read a book after the first chapter. Sarah Colonna wrote this book for me, that much is obvious. She also wrote it for anyone who isn’t perfect and enjoys a good cocktail.
The book is funny. One would hope this to be true coming from a comedian, but Colonna delivers on this expectation. (Here’s a clip of her being hilarious on the Today show.)
The reason I immediately felt like I was sharing life stories with a girlfriend is because Colonna writes to her audience as if they were sitting right next to her. The memoir is more of a casual conversation. This chitchat follows her life from her childhood in Arkansas to moving to LA to pursue acting to the present as she works on Chelsea Lately.
The plot really hinges on the concrete basis of booze and sex. Colonna shares that she started drinking at the age of 15, with her drink of choice being bourbon. Showing wisdom that surpassed her years, she never mixed liquors. That is, until she did, in her thirties.
One of the funniest anecdotes comes early on as an elementary-aged Colonna walks down the street to find her boyfriend throwing a cat in the yard. The discovery that her first love is an animal abuser, needless to say, causes trauma for the young girl. This is the beginning of the trouble with men.
The best snippets come at times when Colonna directly addresses her audience.
“I’m a f***ing mess, but so are you. Most of us are. I don’t just mean women. Men are a mess, too. We’re all in this together.” We read this at the very beginning of the book, and it draws you in to feel like you’re not alone.
Some of her insights hit a little bit too close to home. For instance, “Saying you are doing something for closure is just covering up your one last futile attempt to tell someone how you feel in hopes that they will come around to admit that they feel the same way about you and the two of you will ride off into the sunset leaving all of your cares behind.” This comes right before she dramatically informs her ex that she loves him, which usually doesn’t end well. It didn’t work out for her either.
Really, most people can find some thing or other to relate to in this book. If you have divorced parents, you can relate. If you’ve ever worked in the restaurant industry, you can relate. If you’ve ever flown to Quebec to stay with a boyfriend you just met in Mexico, you can relate. If you’ve ever done shrooms at a music festival in the desert, you can relate. But most importantly, if you’ve ever had a day where you just feel like a complete life failure, you can relate.
The good thing is, (spoiler!) in the end of the book Colonna succeeds. She had a longer mature relationship and has a stable job in the industry, as evidence. Hopefully, she won’t blow it.
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