The Setting: Music for the masses, at a coffee house for the masses. Study was conducted at the branch on Ninth Street.

The Good: A mild mix of everything. A little bit of country rendition of pop songs, a little bit of over-played Grammy winning songs, a little bit of indie to appease the hipsters and a little bit of Bob Dylan because if you hate Bob Dylan, the world hates you.

The Bad: Katy Perry anything. Guilty pleasures should be left behind closed doors.

The Ugly: Almost an hour of baby-making music like this, this and this last Sunday. Kudos to Starbucks frequenters capable of ignoring this music. The last thing I want to listen to are songs that insinuate “getting it on” while I’m getting my high-octane fix.

The Hits: They played Yuna. She’s from Malaysia, if you don’t already know. REPRESENT! I was so happy, I was on the verge of tears. No, this is not Jannero Pargo’s wife, Malaysia from Basketball Wives: L.A.

The Misses: Come on. Let’s be real here. Starbucks is Queen Pacifier when it comes to music. It caters to all sorts of taste (refer to masses) for the average and above average patrons. How can they miss on music? They offer every single kind of good mainstream music out there. It’s hard to find music you don’t like at Starbucks. But if you do, just wait 10 minutes.

Side note: To all metalheads, I’m sorry but I totally agree that Starbucks is biased when it comes to good, technical Swedish metal bands. But I think the mass majority of people who hang out at Starbucks to chat, study and people watch wouldn’t enjoy heavy metal very much.

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