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What to do, what to do? All your friends are watching the Olympics and you couldn’t care less.
Sports aren’t your thing/You don’t like the beastly competition/Hearing girls squeal over Michael Phelps’ abs hurts your ears — whatever your reason, the games just aren’t your thing.
Here are some lesser-known games from around Columbia that you can enjoy while your friends are being sports fiends.
The downtown meter sprint
How little change can you put in the meter to finish your errands without getting a ticket? If you don’t pay attention, you risk financial injury, but if you achieve flawless execution, there is great triumph. And the crowd goes wild!
The Broadway endurance race
The stretch of Broadway between College Ave. and Providence provides more than enough challenges for this to be an Olympic-status event. Stop lights, pedestrians, cars trying to haphazardly pull out of parking spots — the possibilities are endless. How quickly can you get down Broadway without losing your cool? Keep in mind, there are deductions for breaking traffic laws — I won’t be your excuse when you get pulled over.
Vox paper airplane distance competition
After you’re done reading the latest issue of Vox Magazine, take those crisp pages and put them to good use. While training, keep plenty of bandages on hand for paper cuts — this game gets intense. Hint: It’s all in the wrist.
Mall crowd swimming
There have been a ton of people at the mall lately, and now that back to school shopping is getting into full swing, there are plenty of crowds at the Columbia Mall. Tread through to keep from suffocating. If you need a breather, feel free to grab a bench and people watch because the mall is an aquarium of diversity.
Dive… into a good book
It’s terribly cliche, but seriously. If you just want to avoid all the Olympics coverage on TV once and for all, reading is a safe bet. You can pick any topic out there and, at the end of the book, you win. Hooray!
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