- Responding to Roger Ebert’s reviews
- T/F Film Fest
- About Vox
I’ll admit it. I’m a people watcher. Sometimes it kicks me in the butt (there’s nothing more awkward than getting caught watching someone), but other times, it gets you a bit closer to understanding how this crazy human race functions. Or at least it gives you a great story to tell later on.
So like any people watcher, I looked to Roots ‘N’ Blues ‘N’ BBQ this year not just for the music and delicious, might-as-well-not-gone-to-pilates-this-morning food, but also to the ability to observe Homo sapiens socializing.
Here’s what I learned:
- Got beer? Gotta pee? No problem! Male or female, it’s perfectly acceptable to take your beer into the Port-a-Potty with you.
- If you’re missing that perfect curl in your mustache, gentlemen, don’t be afraid to use a little gel. It makes all the difference.
- When curb sitting, keep a 1.5-butt distance between you and a strange neighbor. Any less and you’re a creeper; any more and a creeper will sit square in the middle.
- PDA is allowed at any age, especially when it involves two older people slow dancing to Al Green. The college couple making out? Slightly less cute.
- The first rule of going to a festival in Columbia is “Don’t litter.” The second rule of going to a festival in Columbia is “Don’t litter.”
- Floral pants-verging-on-jeggings are not “silly pants.” They’re “sexy, fun party pants,” according to one woman sporting a “The best part of Grandma’s house is the cookies” sweatshirt.
- Columbians smoke funny (legal?) things that smell like everything from tobacco to strawberry Laffy Taffies.
- Wearing peacock feathers in your hair is not only normal, but entirely awesome.
- Dance even if you can’t. And if your wife is in a wheelchair and on an oxygen tank, pick her up so she can dance with you, too. Just be aware that a lot of strangers will be taking your picture and tagging it as “True love lasts” on Facebook.
- Noon? Time for a beer.
Have I mentioned I love Columbia?
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