Photo courtesy of Paramount Pictures

There’s pretty much a phobia for everything, but there are some that you don’t have to worry about in Columbia — and there are some that you do. Here are some unfortunate phobias that might make living in CoMo difficult. The scientific names are from phobialist.com, so you be the judge if they’re legit or not.

1. Crossing the Street (Agyrophobia): Have you been downtown? You probably shouldn’t unless you plan to stay on one block.

2. Bees (Apiphobia): No! Not the bees! (The Wicker Man? anyone?) Try to avoid the outdoors or anywhere with wooden benches because that’s where the gigantic carpenter bees like to frolic.

3. Snow (Chionophobia): Snowpocalypse must have made you pee your pants.

4. Bicycles (Cyclophobia): You might want to look both ways twice when you cross the street. Once for cars and once for bikes.

5. Restaurants (Deipnophobia): You’ve seen our dining guide. Restaurants are literally EVERYWHERE.

6. Machines (Mechanophobia): There are hella construction sites (hella is still a popular phrase, right?) out there with a bunch of cranes and bulldozers. It’s as if Bob the Builder lives here.

7. Hospitals (Nosocomephobia): The amount of hospitals in this town worries me, too. How are there so many injuries and illnesses?

8. Telephones (Phonophobia): Who you gonna call? Pretty much everyone because they all have cell phones.

9. Squirrels (Sciurophobia): There are two things wrong with squirrels in Columbia: They are too big and too aggressive.

10. School (Scolionophobia): More than three colleges in one city? Isn’t it obvious? This is not the place for you.