That wonderful time of year is finally upon us. Pounds of glitter, banjos and a whole lot of Jesus-praisin’ is set to assault your television screen this Thursday, Nov. 1 on ABC at 7 p.m. And hey, if you’re like me and without cable — they’re live streaming it! So, to celebrate one of the most ridiculously glitzed out and bourbon-fueled award shows of the year, we decided to put together a (not-real-life-don’t-you-dare-take-this-seriously-or-else) drinking game and printout ballot to make your at home CMA experience all the more realistic.

Required: Whiskey, a sense of humor and at least a six pack of beer. Budweiser, obviously.

Rules:

1. Take a swig of whiskey every time Carrie Underwood changes her outfit.
2. Pour a little out for the homies every time Taylor Swift doesn’t win an award and looks pissed about it… into your neighbor’s glass.
3. Drink every time they pan to Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.
4. A swig of whiskey when someone says “Nashville.”
5. Drink if Eric Church wears aviator sunglasses.
6. Two sips of beer for every person inappropriately wearing a baseball hat indoors.
7. Chug for five seconds when someone thanks Jesus in an acceptance speech.
8. Tip your hat (you should be wearing a hat) and drink when someone references Hank Jr.
9. Drink when they cut off someone’s acceptance speech.
10. Every time someone says America, yell “AMERICA” and shotgun a beer.

(Disclaimer: We’re serious, guys. These rules should not be taken as actual guidelines; this post is purely satirical.)

And now for the ballot.

CMA Ballot

Enjoy the show, and may the most bedazzled costume wearer win!