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That wonderful time of year is finally upon us. Pounds of glitter, banjos and a whole lot of Jesus-praisin’ is set to assault your television screen this Thursday, Nov. 1 on ABC at 7 p.m. And hey, if you’re like me and without cable — they’re live streaming it! So, to celebrate one of the most ridiculously glitzed out and bourbon-fueled award shows of the year, we decided to put together a (not-real-life-don’t-you-dare-take-this-seriously-or-else) drinking game and printout ballot to make your at home CMA experience all the more realistic.
Required: Whiskey, a sense of humor and at least a six pack of beer. Budweiser, obviously.
- Take a swig of whiskey every time Carrie Underwood changes her outfit.
- Pour a little out for the homies every time Taylor Swift doesn’t win an award and looks pissed about it… into your neighbor’s glass.
- Drink every time they pan to Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.
- A swig of whiskey when someone says “Nashville.”
- Drink if Eric Church wears aviator sunglasses.
- Two sips of beer for every person inappropriately wearing a baseball hat indoors.
- Chug for five seconds when someone thanks Jesus in an acceptance speech.
- Tip your hat (you should be wearing a hat) and drink when someone references Hank Jr.
- Drink when they cut off someone’s acceptance speech.
- Every time someone says America, yell “AMERICA” and shotgun a beer.
(Disclaimer: We’re serious, guys. These rules should not be taken as actual guidelines; this post is purely satirical.)
And now for the ballot.
Enjoy the show, and may the most bedazzled costume wearer win!
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