Less than 30 minutes until the second episode of The Walking Dead premieres on AMC! Join us back here for up-t0-the-minute commentary on this week’s zombie murdering goodness.

Zombie Kill Counter: 24

OMG Count: 4

New Character Count: 4

8:01 p.m.: The new people are approaching our crew.

8:02 p.m.: Another zombie in SWAT gear… Looks like our nightmare is going to keep dragging on.

8:06 p.m.: Herschel is in bad, bad shape. And since when does Carol have all this medical knowledge?

8:07 p.m.: Looks like the other people in the jail are surviving prisoners that have been trapped for months, and they don’t seem to understand that the world as they knew it is in shambles.

8:11 p.m.: The prisoners are fighting for the prison… Do we smell a standoff?

8:13 p.m.: The Ricktator has negotiated a deal with the prisoners: the gang will help them kill the zombies in the cell block in exchange for half of the food in the prison cafeteria. It’s about to go down, people.

8:17 p.m.: Poor Herschel… At least the women seem to have some faith in his recovery, unlike us.

8:18 p.m.: Those prisoners have a TON of food. And a lot of waste festering behind a door nearby… Yuck.

8:19 p.m.: Glenn and Maggie have a better relationship than Lori and Rick do at this point.

8:22 p.m.: Wow, Lori is rolling over on everything these days. Sucking up to Rick, perhaps? We’d be scared of him for sure.

8:23 p.m.: Crash course in zombie murdering for the prisoners. “Go for the brain.” Woo-hoo! Any ideas on how many prisoners will die on this little escapade?

8:25 p.m.: Does Maggie want to kill Herschel? Sure sounds like it… We have a bad feeling about this. IS HE GOING TO EAT HER FACE?!

8:27 p.m.: Whew. He didn’t.

8:31 p.m.: Heeeere come the zombies!! Let the massacre begin.

8:32 p.m.: You dumb prisoners! Didn’t you hear Rick say to destroy their brains??

8:33 p.m.: Looks like Carl’s mullet has gone to his head. Calm yourself, little boy.

8:34 p.m.: OMG!! Don’t wander off, big guy! That’s how people get mauled by zombies who peel off their own hands to get out of handcuffs.

8:35 p.m.: Well, that takes care of that. Looks like these prisoners do indeed have the guts to survive.

8:41 p.m.: Hey now, what’s Carol going to do to that zombie? Is she going to turn into a badass on us?

8:42 p.m.: Way to stab that zombie in the face, Carol!

8:43 p.m.: Oh man, what’s behind that door??

8:44 p.m.: Hey whoa! You can’t just throw zombies on top of Rick! These prisoners have no idea what’s going to happen to them now…

8:46 p.m.: Aaaand another prisoner is left to die. Good move by Rick: just walk away and close the door. Wow. Character shift much?

8:47 p.m.: Herschel is breathing! Good thing, or bad thing?

8:48 p.m.: HERSCHEL BIT LORI’S FACE?! AHHH!! Oh no, he didn’t, thank goodness. That could’ve been bad, especially because Carl had a gun.

8:49 p.m.: Still waiting for Andrea and Michonne to make their first appearances… Where you at, ladies?

8:53 p.m.: Rick and the gang have the remaining prisoners begging for their lives? So unlike them. Except for that one tough guy.

8:55 p.m.: Herschel is still breathing, and he hasn’t gotten a fever yet. Maybe there’s still hope!

8:56 p.m.: His eyes are open! We’re still scared he’s going to eat faces… So on edge right now.

8:57 p.m.: You better hope that zombie’s dead before you practice a C section on it, Carol. And someone seems to be watching you…

8:59 p.m.: Lori and Rick officially have an extremely confusing relationship. They’re so stone cold and bitter! Who knows where they’ll end up.

Wow, what an episode, folks! Join us here next week for more zombie madness!