Ahoy, fellow Walking Dead fans! It’s almost time for episode three in our journey through season three with the crew. We are eager to see what’s up with Andrea and our favorite badass, Michonne. And Lori’s baby’s gotta be a zombie baby, we’d betting money on it.

Zombie Kill Count: 10

OMG Count: 3

New Character Count: 80 (and a half, if you include the reappearance of Merle)

8:01 p.m.: Gotta love the viewer discretion advisory at the beginning of each episode. We’re in for a treat, folks!

8:02 p.m.: Helicopter? Who is this guy?

8:03 p.m.: Goin’ down! Ouch. That’s the end of that. And Andrea and Michonne witnessed the whole thing, with zombies on chains, of course.

8:04 p.m.: Can we say how awesome the opening is?? And we have David Morrisey in the credits, people!

8:06 p.m.: Andrea doesn’t look so good.

8:07 p.m.: Severed soldier; ooh, that’s not pretty. But why isn’t he a walker? They all have the disease in them at this point.

8:09 p.m.: New characters have arrived! And they’re good at playing T-ball with zombie heads.

8:10 p.m.: That was a close one! That walker almost spotted Andrea and Michonne.

8:11 p.m.: And the half-soldier has morphed into a zombie. Called it! And Michonne better quiet those jawless zombies before someone hears…

8:12 p.m.: …And she does. Bye, bye, losers. #headlesspets

8:13 p.m.: Merle spotted them, of all people! He’s baaaack! And his hand is a knife now. Way to pull an Edward Scissorhands!

8:14 p.m.: Merle has kidnapped Andrea and possibly Michonne. We wonder what will come of this one.

8:17 p.m.: A hospital?? Where are they? “It’s not for me to say,” says the doctor… Why not?

8:21 p.m.: Andrea and Merle are catching up. What’s his game, here?

8:22 p.m.: Michonne is clearly not a fan of Merle, and neither are we.

8:23 p.m.: Andrea and Michonne don’t know that everyone is infected with the virus! Dun, dun duuuun.

8:24 p.m.: Welcome to Woodberry, indeed. Nice digs compared to what Andrea has seen before.

8:26 p.m.: They’re packing some heat over there. And it appears that someone is named the Governor. “A title, not a nickname.”

8:32 p.m.: Wow! This is like a whole community! And no casualties since the winter… We hate to be cynical, but good things like this can’t last forever, ya’ll.

8:33 p.m.: The poor pilot; he’s in bad shape. And Governor wants to find them and save the group that flew ahead of him.

8:35 p.m.: Hmm, Governor has a real interest in Darryl. Wonder what that’s all about.

8:36 p.m.: They’re mutilating zombies to make them more docile. No arms, no heads, no problem! Sick.

8:38 p.m.: This new guy seems to think that the zombies still have a trace of their human selves. Interesting.

8:40 p.m.: “We’re a community… With lots of guns and ammunition.” That’s probably why they’re doing so well. A duh.

8:42 p.m.: They’re starting to trust these new people, but we’re not so sure that’s a good idea. We would want our weapons, too!

8:43 p.m.: And we’re at commercial. Is it just us, or is this episode moving super slowly?

8:48 p.m.: Andrea and Michonne have been alone for seven months. Impressive. Yet Andrea still doesn’t feel completely comfortable with her. Do we sense some conflict in the near future?

8:49 p.m.: Seven more new characters? Holy moly.

8:50 p.m.: Wait, what?? Why did they shoot all of those soldiers? These are not good guys, people! And all for their weapons?

8:51 p.m.: “Let’s see what Uncle Sam brought us.” Rude, David Morrisey!

8:57 p.m.: Governor is a liar; he killed those soldiers himself. Tsk, tsk. But no worries, Michonne sees right through him.

8:58 p.m.: Does Andrea have a crush on that skeezeball? Yuck.

9:00 p.m.: EWW!! Zombie heads floating in glowing liquid!! What a psycho! And he even has the poor pilot’s head in there! This can only mean trouble for Michonne and Andrea next time…