Are We There Yet?
November 30, 2007 at 10:58 a.m.
Miles Traveled: 194
Hours in the LeSabre: 2 and 40 minutes
“That’s what she said.” count: 9
Before we get to business - Mom, if you’re reading this the answer is yes: we all have our seatbelts on.
It’s time to get to know the people behind The Tiger Ride.
Andy Paschen, 21
Hometown: Chicago, Ill.
Personal heroes: Papa Smurf, Chicago Bears WR Devin Hester
Mini-life goal: Grow ruggedly handsome facial hair
Hidden talent: Clever usage of a British accent
Archenemies: Pickles, math
Danny Mehigan, 21
Hometown: Milwaukee, Wis.
Mini-life goal: Grow up to be a reasonable facsimile of Brett Favre
Personal hero: Brett Favre…shocking.
Times name has been legally changed: 2
Favorite Mizzou player: #85, Greg Bracey, “Reppin’ the ill Mil (Milwaukee)”
Nicknames: Sleepy, Sleeps, Meggs
Ryan ‘Oz’ Oswald, 21
Hometown: St. Louis, Mo.
Mini-life goal: “Leaving Kansas as soon as possible on the drive.”
Personal Heroes: Ozzie Smith, Jeremy Maclin aka ‘Yoshii’
(Why ‘Yoshii’, Oz explains: “Because Yoshii also runs a 4.28 40-yard dash in Super Mario Tennis”)
Times in a car that has flipped: 2 [Note: He wasn’t driving either time]
Besides a Big XII Championship, we better: “Make it back without flipping the car.”
Drew Brooks, 21
Hometown: East Lansing, Mich.
Likes: Everything Michigan St.
Dislikes: Ryan Oswald
Quote: “That’s what she said.”
Car talent: In absence of cup holders, Drew can balance a Gatorade bottle on his knee.
We’ve pulled out a previous edition of a fine, fine publication called Vox Magazine, and begun test-playing their “Top 10 road trip games” in the October 18th issue. After we play these games we are going to rate them, on the Vox scale of one to five Vs.
The car next door: “Invent histories about your fellow hellions of the highway.”
Verdict: 3 Vs
After starting off somewhat slowly, the tales quickly dissolved into what people might consider ‘low brow’ humor. The driver’s around us, if the stories were proven to be true, we’re all either sexual deviants, violent criminals, or some sort of action hero/treasure hunter. To top it off, several of the stories ended with something bad happening to either the state or University of Kansas, which probably bumped up the rating.
Two truths, one lie: “Offer up three facts about yourself, one of which is a complete fabrication.”
Verdict: 4 Vs
The game started with promise, but became increasingly difficult when we realized two facts about ourselves: it’s hard to think up interesting/tricky facts and lies, and it’s even harder to remember them while thinking of others.
Bonus! For you loyal readers out there I offer you two truths and one lie (the answer is at the bottom of the post):
Jeff Wolfert is 22-23 on field goals in conference play.
Jeremy Maclin set the NCAA freshman record for All-Purpose yards.
Pig Brown’s first name is Cornelius.
Road kill tally: “Each person picks an animal and tallies the number they see on the side of the road.”
Verdict: 1 V
Three road kills into the game we had to divide the group into Team Deer and Team Not Deer, otherwise the conversation went something like this.
“What the hell was that one?”
“Uh, a raccoon?”
“It could have been a dog.”
“Out here?”
“Yeah, I have no idea what that was.”
“I claim point for raccoon.”
“I’m too tired for this.”
“That’s what she said.”
Answer: Jeff Wolfert is perfect on field goals in Big XII play. Boo-yah.
Comments on this post
HA! My favorite was always the old "state lisence plate" game, but it will drive you nuts. I'd always make my father (or whoever was driving) pull closer than legally should to the car in front of us so I could tell if it was Kentucky or just Illinois... It is time for celebration when you find a Maine or Alaska though.
Posted by Laura Dotson on Nov 30, 2007 at 5:13 p.m. (Report Comment)
Oz! You stole that Yoshii thing from me!!! And you know who this is, and it aint Paschen
Posted by Andrew Paschen on Dec 4, 2007 at 12:58 a.m. (Report Comment)