24: 4 p.m. - 6 p.m.
March 6, 2007 at 8:47 a.m.
I used to have a rule when I watched 24: No moving. Ever. Not even during commercials or if I had to go to the bathroom. No moving. That’s just how it worked. The show was that good. Another rule: No channel surfing on commercial breaks. To miss one precious moment of 24, even if it was the split screen with the time on it, was just too much to bear, like leaving the last bit of cookie dough in the bowl. You don’t leave it. You lick that bowl clean!
But, up until the last 20 minutes of this week’s episode, that rule was suspended. I’d check my e-mail or get up to go to the bathroom. I even ventured to flip channels during commercials. I felt dirty, actually, committing such transgressions against Jack Bauer. I half-expected him to come charging in, slam me against a wall and demand to know why I had flipped the channel in that gravely voice of his. That would have been more exciting than the majority of these past two episodes.
Last week, for the eight billionth episode in a row, President Palmer and Assad are preparing to address the nation. Tom Lennox is still tied up in some ominous pipe room, and Reed (Chad Lowe) as a villain is just not believable. He looks like he’s about 12 and still fighting bullies at school for his milk money. But, he does help Carson, a mysterious “analyst,” slip into the president’s bunker, mix up a bomb disguised as a tape recorder and plant it at the president’s podium, where he is practicing for this eternally forthcoming national address. The thing explodes, killing Assad and injuring the president. The sad thing is that when the bomb went off, I didn’t even flinch. Oh, President Palmer might be dead? Eh. I have 135 friends who have recently updated their profiles on Facebook.
Meanwhile, Jack pays a visit to President Logan who is under house arrest at his California compound. He swears he’s changed, that he’s found God. He even quotes some Bible verses. Apparently Logan knows someone at the Russian consulate, Anatoly Markov, who knows where Gredenko is. Oh, and Logan also has incriminating tapes that implicate Markov in selling the deadly Centox gas to the terrorists that Jack was trying to stop last season, so he can easily blackmail Markov. The president granted Logan a furlough (before the bomb went off, of course) to go talk to Markov, under Jack’s supervision. For 24 to work, you have to suspend disbelief, but this season has just left too many unanswered questions and required too many leaps of faith for it to be good. Markov’s not suspicious that Logan is coming to see him? The guy has been locked in his house for a year, and Markov’s not wondering who sprung him and why? What’s more, is that he doesn’t even bother to ask. Also, where did Jack score that Secret Service suit on such short notice? (Markov, for all you Lord of the Rings fans also played Denethor in Return of the King.)
Logan shows his hand and tells Markov that he has the tapes to blackmail him, but Markov maintains that he doesn’t know where Gredenko is. Logan knows he’s lying (it takes one to know one, I guess), so Jack gets Chloe to cut power to the consulate so he can go back in and get Markov to talk. He ends up taking Markov hostage at gunpoint, and he actually announces it to the other Russians. UGH. Didn’t Jack learn his lesson from the Chinese consulate? And, 24 writers, don’t you think you could come up with something different for Jack to do besides storm the embassy? The Chinese prison basically stole Jack’s soul/will to live, so, short of killing him, I don’t know what else the Russians could possibly do to Jack. I guess we’ll see, though. For the record, though, Markov was lying, and he contacted Gredenko to let him know that CTU was on to his involvement with the nukes.
Of course, Jack gets Markov to talk, only after he threatens to start amputating his fingers with a cigar cutter. (Between that and the drill that Morris took to the shoulder, this season has been heavy on the torture with everyday objects. Jeez.) Markov says that Gredenko is in Shadow Valley (AKA: the desert) preparing to launch aerial drones for Fayed, which will deliver the remaining nuclear bombs over U.S. soil. Before Jack can call CTU with his new intel, the Russians storm in and capture Jack. Of course. What else is there to do? Jack tries to get the Russian agent who is watching him to call CTU and give them Gredenko’s location, which he is actually in the process of doing, when another mysterious, presumably Russian, man pumps two bullets into his head. (Interestingly, Jack gives the Russian agent a real phone number—310-597-3781—instead of the typical 555 numbers you see in movies and on TV.)
Back at the White House, President Palmer is unconscious, not dead, and the secretary of defense tells the VP that the duties of the president are now his. I’m pretty sure that the secretary of defense doesn’t make this call by himself (see the 25th Amendment), but okay, 24, I’ll bite.
Finally, someone cares that Lennox has been missing, and the VP finally orders the Secret Service to go find him. Carson and Reed are on to the Secret Service, so they release him before the agents find him bound. Immediately, Lennox turns in Reed and Carson for their plot, which was a surprising move for Lennox because he seemed so potentially evil from the get-go. Lennox remands himself into custody, and while he is being questioned, it is obvious that no one believes his story that he did all he could have done to prevent the attack.
But, the VP (who looks as sketchy as President Logan ever did) comes in to tell Tom that he needs him to help initiate his sweeping security measures to catch any terrorists in the U.S., the same initiatives that prompted Karen Hayes’ resignation, which she rescinds in this week’s episode. (Side note: We see Karen Hayes this episode at the airport waiting for a plane. Are you kidding me? Post 9/11, a nuclear bomb GOES off on American soil, and she’s getting ready to hop a cross-country flight to L.A., where the bomb WENT OFF? These little details that the writers keep neglecting are absolutely infuriating.)
Basically, the VP tells Tom that he’ll get him out of hot water as long as he helps him squash every civil liberty in the U.S. for the sake of national security. The VP finally addresses the nation and breaks the news that President Palmer was injured. (The media didn’t know something was up? Unlikely.) The VP says he will be pushing forward an “aggressive agenda of national security” that will “suspend certain civil liberties” because it is the “price of war.” Basically, 24 world is about to get a dose of USA PATRIOT Act on steroids.
Overall, this week’s episode was just as boring as the past few weeks have been, but the last 20 minutes were promising. The season still has a long way to go before it can redeem itself, but at least the writers are steering away from the predictable, such as Lennox actually turning in Pollock and Carson, even though he knew about the plot to assassinate President Palmer in the first place. And, President Logan seems like he’d be a better president now than he ever was when he was actually in office. Is he really a reformed man, or is he just getting better at hiding his devious schemes? What do the Russians do with Jack? Who is the guy who shot the Russian agent who was trying to call CTU? (The episode ended awkwardly with that moment, so I’m thinking he’s important.) Will President Palmer recover? Will the VP and Lennox succeed in implementing their hardcore plan? And, will we ever see the president’s sister (Regina King) ever again? (That whole plotline ended pretty abruptly.)
But, if the plot itself doesn’t get better next week, at least we have the reprisal of (cue the hallelujah chorus) Jean Smart as the former first lady, Martha Logan. Her is-she-crazy-or-not shtick was fabulous last season, and if that weren’t enough, we also get Aaron Pierce, the faithful head of the president’s Secret Service, who, besides Jack Bauer, is the only character who has appeared in every season of 24. (How’s that for useless TV trivia?) Maybe these solid characters can revive this dull season. Plus, we meet CTU agent Mike Doyle (Ricky “Don’t call me Rick” Schroeder). Mmm…eye candy.
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