PRINTFans ask: What’s that smell?
Perfume makes good scents for branding star musicians
Kristin Swanson
Illustration
November 23, 2006 | 12:00 a.m. CST
I have an unhealthy obsession with celebrities. I devour celebrity magazines, spend more time than I care to admit on celeb Web sites and feel better informed about the lives of my favorite musicians than those of my friends. But purchasing a celebrity fragrance is a bridge I have not crossed. Upon learning that even the anti-metrosexual Gene Simmons had joined the fragrance phenomenon, I decided it was time to investigate six scents with the help of my equally cynical friend, Mallory.
True Star and True Star Gold (Beyoncé): I don’t think you’re ready for this perfume
Related Articles Related LinksTrue Star Gold, the first Beyoncé Knowles scent Mallory and I test, smells subtly sweet. We are impressed and think perhaps we were wrong to doubt musicians’ abilities to create perfume. Then we move on to the original True Star. It is instantly headache-inducing, and we cough loudly and make a scene in the sedate store. If you purchase a Beyoncé fragrance to help the lady pay her Bills, Bills, Bills, I beg on behalf of everyone with whom you will ever share an elevator: Go for the gold.
Paris Hilton (Paris Hilton): A clever title from a clever woman
As a singer, actress, model and full-time celebutante, Paris Hilton is a hard worker. After smelling her signature scent, Paris Hilton by Paris Hilton, Mallory reaches the conclusion that Paris should quit her many day jobs and focus exclusively on her budding fragrance career. “I think we may have found something the heiress does well!” Mallory cries. The scent is flowery and inoffensive (rather unlike its namesake), but I couldn’t openly admit to wearing the billionaire’s perfume.
With Love ... (Hilary Duff): How sweet it is to be loved by her
“I’m glad I don’t like it,” declares Mallory, who is not a Hilary Duff fan. “It’s too sweet — just like she comes off as being too sweet.” One of the fragrance notes in this perfume is chai latte, which explains why Duff’s fragrance smells a lot like vanilla and cinnamon. With Love reminds me of a scented candle: a homey, pleasant fragrance to spice up a room but not exactly an attractive scent for the club-hopping crowd. This scent is just So Yesterday that my mother might enjoy it.
KISS Him (Kiss): They show us everything they’ve got
This scent must be special if The Demon himself has launched a “fragrance tour” that began in September to promote his smells in American malls. After we sample the cologne at Dillard’s, I ask Mallory, “Is this how you imagined Gene Simmons smells?” It’s definitely not the scent of a drenched post-concert sweat rag off The Demon’s back, but we conclude that KISS Him, a supposedly spiced blend with exotic Asian notes, does smell like something an aging rocker reduced to mall appearances would wear.
True Star (Enrique Iglesias): He can’t be your cologne hero
I had high hopes for True Star, the macho counterpart to Beyoncé’s perfumes. The commercial, which showcases Enrique and his beautiful entourage as they fly off into the night on a private jet, promises all the excesses of celebrity encapsulated in one bottle. I am disappointed. The excess is there — the cologne is incredibly strong with citrus notes. But it doesn’t smell hot and spicy enough to make me believe that True Star really is the scent of this Latin lover. I think we’ll Bailamos over to the next option.
Unforgivable (Sean Jean): Diddy’s been around the world with this scent
The official description reads, “Unforgivable’s sleek, smooth blend reinvents masculine style with classic luxury.” Mallory’s first reaction is that it smells like club soda — not exactly a drink that conjures up luxury. Diddy had good intentions: The special ingredient in this cologne is champagne. I bet Diddy dreamt this one up while enjoying a bit too much Cristal aboard a VIP yacht — he is All About the Benjamins. As Unforgivable is the least offensive of the musician colognes, I award points for effort.
The market might be saturated with celebrity perfumes, but who are the consumers that buy these fragrances? According to a salesperson at Dillard’s men’s cologne counter, the answer is hardly anyone. “Nobody really likes them,” says the sales associate in blunt reference to celebrity colognes. He adds that the few who do make purchases tend to be young, clearly impressionable men.
A salesperson at the women’s perfume counter says women of all ages purchase celeb perfumes. “Sometimes people will buy it because of the celebrity,” she says. “But they could just be buying it because it’s in a pretty bottle.”
By the end of the shopping trip, even a pretty bottle can’t entice me to buy anything. Then it hits me. Maybe this group of mediocre musicians with mediocre fragrances should start a band and come out with a super-perfume. In the meantime, I think I’ll stick with the Ralph Lauren.
