PRINTAre male enhancements worth the money?
Putting more pow in your performance
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A decade ago, you could watch a prime time sporting hearing the words erectile dysfunction. Today enhancement products have deals with NASCAR, baseball, the NFL and even Bob Dole.
April 26, 2007 | 12:00 a.m. CST
Most men have probably heard the rumor that, at least according to the bulk of the mail engorging the average spam box, many are lacking in the one department that is the axis of many of their worlds.
There are proclaimed magic beans out there that, in addition to giving men Jack’s beanstalk, promise to exile those embarrassing little tragedies and eschew the effusive apologies that follow. But can any of them stand and deliver?
Super sexual pills
Cydney McQueen, an assistant clinical professor of pharmacy at University of Missouri-Kansas City and assistant director of the Natural Product Information Office at the Drug Information Center, says that products like ManXL and Enzyte make some claims that are extreme extrapolations from basic science data. Others are completely bogus.
“One of the problems with combination products in general is that, because of the ‘proprietary blends’ (the supposedly patented mixtures that make each product unique), manufacturers can get away with not telling how much of an ingredient is present,” McQueen says. “So even if an ingredient has been shown to work, it’s likely that doses are not high enough to impart any benefits though they often can be high enough to still cause problems.”
Capsules such as those sold at Olde Un Theatre contain essentially the same alchemist’s brew of arcane herbs, roots and extracts. They brim with exotic plants such as yohimbe, horny goat weed, maca root and saw palmetto in addition to more recognizable nutrients such as niacin and vitamin B.
McQueen says that before she would recommend any supplements, she would advise her patients to get more sleep, eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, and lay off alcohol. Failing this, she says that the best, safest herbal candidates are 1800 mg of ginseng or 5 grams of the amino acid L-arginine taken daily, but she advises everyone to consult a physician before beginning any drug regimen.
As for the popularity of pills such as Royal Dragon, Elise Albrecht, nurse and former employee at Olde Un, says that some people swear by them. “One guy came in one day and bought all the Super Dragon Super Sexual Pills,” she says. “I guess it depends upon the individual’s physiology whether they work or not. All of our medications are made out of herbs, and people think that it’ll be safe because we sell it, but some of it can be quite dangerous.”
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Penis pumping
The Olde Un sells pumps for prices that range from an economical $9.95 to $89.95 for the battery-operated model with the pistol grip. The packages offer cautionary words ranging from the appealing “Warning: This product may cause orgasm” to the more ominous “May bruise or rupture blood vessels resulting in hemorrhage or formation of a hematoma.”
Pumps, according to a report published by the American Urological Association, are a cheap, alternative treatment for impotence and might work when prescription drugs won’t, but men shouldn’t expect any growth beyond the bounds of what God granted. Enlargement requires the generation of more of the spongy tissues, the corpus cavernosa, which inflate when a man is properly inspired. In the absence of divine intervention, this feat is presently impossible.
Those men who wish they could be the Johnny-come-lately but find that Johnny seems to come too soon might be interested in the Stroke Master, also available from the Olde Un for a mere $62.95. Essentially a counter with a stopwatch (sorry, no compass), the Stroke Master is a crude biofeedback device that could help men who suffer from premature “eruptions” learn to better control themselves.
So-called legitimate drugs
Conventional prescription erectile dysfunction drugs belong largely to a class of drugs known as vasodilators, which act to relax muscles surrounding blood vessels and increase blood flow. According to an article written by Leonard Marks of the Urological Sciences Research Foundation, these drugs inhibit a specific enzyme that controls blood flow to the penis. The upshot of this is that when men are in the mood, their brains send signals to the appropriate areas, and everything works as it should.
The FDA warned that, though these drugs are specific, they are not perfect and can have an effect on other enzymes that regulate blood flow to other parts of the body, including the eyes. This is why some men report subtle changes in the appearance of colors, also known as “the blue haze.” Although no evidence directly suggests Viagra was to blame, some users have lost vision in one eye. Other serious side effects include the increased risk of heart attack, but the most common complaint is minor muscle aches. Doctors advise young men not to take the drug recreationally as it might cause a chemical dependency that will render them unable to achieve an erection without the drug.
Money shot
So it seems that, as much as men might not like the verdict, the dream of an improved penis is just that. Although specific drugs can help with functioning properly, no product of human intelligence or design can enlarge it, and very little of what springs from Mother Nature’s bosom can restore it to health. So, don’t mess with the little guy, and anyone who says otherwise is not a friend, no matter what the e-mails say.Click here for larger timeline
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