PRINTAn unconventional conception
Same-sex couples embrace reproductive technology
James Maritz
Jessica Jennrich and Shana Stockburger used artificial insemination to have their 2-year-old son Jack.
July 10, 2008 | 12:00 a.m. CST
After nine years together, Columbia residents Jessica Jennrich and Shana Stockburger decided to begin a family. Because of the laws and politics surrounding adoption in Missouri, Jennrich, 29, and Stockburger, 30, chose artificial insemination with an anonymous sperm donor. Months later, Jack was born.
These women are joining a nationwide trend of same-sex couples who are embracing the opportunity to start a family through procedures such as surrogacy, in vitro fertilization and artificial insemination. (Unlike in vitro fertilization, which combines the sperm and egg in a laboratory dish before implantation, intrauterine insemination implants the sperm directly into the woman’s uterus.)
A 2007 report by the Urban Institute and the Williams Institute, “Adoption and Foster Care by Lesbian and Gay Parents in the United States,” says that more than half of gay men and 41 percent of lesbians want to have a child.
Dr. Gil Wilshire of Mid-Missouri Reproductive Medicine and Surgery in Columbia has noticed an increase of same-sex couples at his practice. “The vast majority of gay women who come in here have tubes that are fairly pristine,” says Wilshire. “In general, if they come in in a healthy condition, the success rates are fairly high.”
Although Florida is currently the only state that bans gay adoption, Jennrich says she and Stockburger were apprehensive about adopting not only because of the price but also because the law doesn’t view same-sex couples as having the same parental rights as traditional families. Only one person in a same-sex couple is given rights to the child.
Before Jack was born, the couple decided to sign a co-parenting agreement because the rights of second-parent adoption are unclear in Missouri. “We would need a really good case and really good judges in order for it to go in our favor,” Jennrich says.
The agreement allows Stockburger rights to their son that she would not otherwise have under Missouri law. “If we hadn’t signed the papers and decided to split up in the future, I could walk away with Jack, and she’d be stuck,” Jennrich says. But it’s still not 100 percent binding. “A judge could override it, and there would be nothing anyone could do,” she says.
A.J. Bockelman, executive director of PROMO, Missouri’s statewide organization that advocates equality for the LGBT community, says the notion of family has changed with time. Nonetheless, he says the state laws regarding LGBT couples are still horribly out of date. “Basic protections for your family are what we all seek,” Bockelman says. “If you’re in the LGBT community looking to protect your family, where can you turn?”
With the number of same-sex parents on the rise, legislation is constantly evolving on a state-by-state basis and questions whether same-sex parents are a detriment to the upbringing of a child. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine notes that there is no “persuasive evidence that children raised by single parents or by gays or lesbians are harmed or disadvantaged by that fact alone.” Some studies have shown children are influenced more by their interactions with their parents than their parents’ sexual orientations.
Linda Hayes, a member of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, says, “As far as the legalities go, any attempt to prohibit same-sex couples from having families would be a shame. Speaking as a mother of a gay man, if he wanted to start a family at some point in time, I certainly would like to be a grandparent.”
Jennrich agrees with Hayes and says, “Sometimes I just want to shout out, ‘Hey! We’re a lesbian family! See how normal we are?’”
48 percent of fertility clinic directors were very or extremely likely to turn away a gay couple seeking a surrogate.
17 percent of those directors would turn away a lesbian couple seeking a surrogate.
59 percent of the directors agreed that everyone has the right to have a child.
2 million GLB people are interested in adopting.
114,000 children awaiting adoption are currently in the foster care system.
Source: Fertility and Sterility and “Adoption and Foster Care by Lesbian and Gay Parents in the United States”
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