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All the president's people

October 30, 2008 | 12:00 a.m. CST

Elections are about extremes. The extremely passionate, extremely apathetic and extremely confused all have their role in the democratic process. But Republicans and Democrats are still the mainstays and have platforms as disparate as ever.

Some voters don’t like to put their views into small boxes and digestible tag lines. Still others embrace their principled, predictable views. Like the country they form, voters are noisy, weird and wonderful. The characters here aren’t the end of the range of political participants. They’re just the beginning of the discussion.

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Soccer/Suburban Dad

Average age: 46

Mode of transportation: Chevy Suburban

Hobbies: Tending to lawn, coaching Little League, watching Monday Night Football

Elections they’ve participated in: Every one since 1980

Political role model: Bill Clinton

Favorite drink: Bud Light in a bottle

How they support their candidate: Bumper sticker

Residence: House on cul-de-sac in southern Columbia

Where they get their information: Daily newspaper, Newsweek

Issue of concern: Economy

Motto: “If it’s good for my family, it’s good for me.”

Suit

Average age: 42

Mode of transportation: Lexus sedan

Hobbies: Working, working and collecting expensive gadgets with marginal utility

Elections they’ve participated in: Every one since 1984

Political role model: Condoleeza Rice,

Warren Buffett

Favorite drink: Grey Goose martini

How they support their candidate: Donations

Residence: McMansion off of Forum Boulevard

Where they get their information: Wall Street Journal, The New York Times

Issue of concern: The economy

Motto: “Yes, I have multiple Blackberries.”

Political Junkie

liberal / conservative

Average age: 24 / 24

Mode of transportation: Hybrid / ’86 BMW

Hobbies: Reading liberal blogs while watching 24-hour news / Watching 24-hour news, reading conservative blogs

Elections they’ve participated in: 2004 / 2004

Political role model: Al Gore / Ronald Reagan

Favorite drink: Vodka cranberry / Vodka tonic

How they support their candidate: Both engage people with opposing views in arguments and tell anyone who will listen why their candidate is the best

Residence: Condominium / Duplex

Where they get their information: Rolling Stone, Michael Moore, liberal blogs / Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, conservative blogs

Issue of concern: The war and health care / The economy

Motto: “We shouldn’t leave anyone behind.” / “This country is about self-reliance.”

Hipster

Average age: 22

Mode of transportation: Volkswagen Jetta

Hobbies: Attempting to outdo fellow hipsters by professing love for impossibly obscure bands, browsing for new black-rimmed glasses

Elections they’ve participated in: 2004

Political role model: Barack Obama

Favorite drink: Pabst Blue Ribbon

How they support their candidate: Attending free events, wearing “Obama is my Homeboy” T-shirt, buttons

Residence: Free-standing apartment

Where they get their information: Digg, Fark, The Daily Show, fellow hipsters who appreciate any audience available

Issue of concern: The war and the environment

Motto: “Bush doesn’t care about helping people; he only cares about himself.”

Prepster

Average age: 26

Mode of transportation: Early 2000s Acura

Hobbies: Pairing plaid with various shades of pink, attempting to figure out another name to end with the suffix “-ton,” complaining about things that aren’t important

Elections they’ve participated in: 2000, 2004

Political role model: Tucker Carlson

Favorite drink: Amaretto sour

How they support their candidate: Bumper sticker and defending him or her in public

Residence: Respectable apartment

Where they get their information: 24-hour news channels, The American Conservative

Issue of concern: The economy

Motto: “I should be able to keep the money I make.”

Silent Majority/Baby Boomer

Average age: 58

Mode of transportation: 1993 Jeep Wagoneer

Hobbies: Gardening, cooking

Elections they’ve participated in: All of them since 1968

Political role model: John F. Kennedy

Favorite drink: Merlot

How they support their candidate: Voting and yelling at their candidate’s opponent when he or she appears on TV

Residence: House on West Broadway that is full of college-age kids or grandkids

Where they get their information: Daily newspaper, CNN

Issue of concern: Social Security and the economy

Motto: “The kids are growing up in strange times. The kids are strange.”

Retired Protester

Average age: 62

Mode of transportation: Hybrid or ethanol-fueled vehicle

Hobbies: Eating food grown in their backyard, creeping out others, promoting impossible scenarios based on personal opinion, being cynical

Elections they’ve participated in: The ones they believed were not rigged

Political role model: No one

Favorite drink: Sierra Nevada

How they support their candidate: Patches, buttons and bumper stickers

Residence: Small house with unkempt yard in eastern Columbia

Where they get their information: Their own brain

Issue of concern: The environment

Motto: “That guy over there’s been staring at us for a while now. He knows.”

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