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Online dating seems to be the new reality during a pandemic.

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Elena Rollins found self clarity through the pandemic.

"Stay home if youโ€™re sick, come over if youโ€™re thickโ€ is a popular pandemic pick-up line. As dates grew risky, parties became infectious and bars closed, couples and singles were left to navigate this new labyrinth. Apps that were once a waste of time became the front lines for romantic encounters.

For some single people, dating during a pandemic is a nonstarter. Lauren Dulle, 20, left a relationship at the beginning of the pandemic, only to realize she was OK being single. โ€œComing to college, especially as a freshman, youโ€™re like, โ€˜Oh my gosh, people meet their husbands in college,โ€™โ€‰โ€ Dulle says. โ€œNo, they donโ€™t.โ€

Brendan Durbin, 21, went on a few dates over the summer and tried every app he could find: Tinder, Grindr, Bumble and Hinge. The talking stage of meeting new people lasted a few weeks longer than usual, which led to an unfortunate downside: ghosting. โ€œThere could be otherย options, or we just lose it because you didnโ€™t get that in-person meet-up.โ€

Hanna Watson, 21, says she started to find odd things attractive about people. She approached dating apps in phases: she would download as many as she could, put real effort into meeting people with the hopes of a socially distant date, grow tired of it, delete all of her accounts, rinse and repeat.

Elena Rollins, 21, had a self-described identity crisis when the pandemic began, breaking up with her boyfriend of three years and exploring her attraction to women. COVID safety became a decision factor in Rollinsโ€™ potential matches. Rather than suggest a date, she would ask about how they were handling the pandemic and go from there.

In this together

For those in relationships, COVID-19 has served as a unique trial by fire. Anna Burturla, 20, and Kermit Kreder, 19, have been dating since September 2019. As their social circles grew smaller, they supported each other through the pandemicโ€™s stress.

Some of this strength could come from an accelerated intimacy, where couples show each other more of themselves in a shorter period of time. Rollins jokes that with her current girlfriend, the pandemic normalized the stereotype of the โ€œU-Haul lesbian,โ€ someone who is prepared to move in after the first or second date. โ€œItโ€™s, in a way, forced us to become very intimate very quickly,โ€ Rollins says. โ€œSo thatโ€™s definitely a positive outlook. I donโ€™t think our relationship would be the same if weโ€™d met during different circumstances.โ€

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Anna Burturla supported her partner, Kermit Kreder, when their social interactions declined during the pandemic.

Temporary connections

Despite the pandemic, hookups are still happening. โ€œThereโ€™s still people that are hooking up with people they donโ€™t know really well,โ€ says Mary Martin, community health manager at Columbia/Boone County Public Health and Human Services. Martin runs the clinic at the Family Health Center, which provides testing of sexually transmitted diseases. โ€œThereโ€™s still the amount of alcohol involved. Thereโ€™s still the percentage of positive [STI] results. In fact, some of our STDs are ramped up to a point that surprises even us,โ€ she says. Martin says she has seen a major increase in positive gonorrhea and syphilis results.

Nicole Crespi, former coordinator for Sexual Health Advocate Peer Education, says there are benefits to pandemic hookup culture: Itโ€™s a good time to grow confidence in asking the question, โ€œWhen did you last get tested?โ€ whether asking about COVID-19 or an STI.

So, why do people continue to be sexually active given the health risks? As Tracey Bathe, Columbia/Boone County Public Health and Human Services health educator, puts it: โ€œWhen people are isolated, they want to feel something.โ€

โ€œPeople always want to be loved, and they want to be held,โ€ Martin says. โ€œAnd I think for a certain amount of time post-COVID, theyโ€™re going to want to be held a lot more.โ€

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