Long-distance relationships can be tough, and there's no sugarcoatingย the fact that the person you love is miles awayย from you. Sure, there are important benefits to long-distance relationships such asย building your independence and practicing healthy communication skills. But when it comes to the physical distance between partners, the recognizable love languagesย no longer take on their original forms.
The five love languages โ acts of service, physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation and gift giving โ can still be expressed from afar toย make the distance a little more bearable.
According to Verywell Mind, the concept of the five love languages was created by counselor and pastor Gary Chapman and published in his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate in 1992. For years Chapman observed couples and their patterns of misunderstanding each other's needs. Chapman created the five love languages because he believed people would respond to them in ways that improve the quality of relationships by fostering empathy and maintaining intimacy. Not only are the love languages useful for strengthening romantic relationships, but they're also great for improving relationships between friends and family.ย
Ordering your long-distance person their favorite takeout is one of the easiest acts of service to do!ย
Acts of serviceย
Has yourย significant other had a stressful weekย at work or school? Helping knockย something off their long to-do listย is the perfect way to show them you care.ย This can look likeย booking your partner a cleaning crew from Columbia'sย Sunshine Cleaningย or sending them food from their favorite restaurant in town.
Scheduling a massage for your loved one is another way to perform acts of service, says Tara Vossenkemper, a local relationship therapist.ย Send them a gift card fromย MassageLuXeย to release any tension and, as a bonus, create a sense of physical touch between you and your partner.
Physical touchย
โYou can do a lot of things from a distance, but you canโt actually physically touch,โ Vossenkemper says. So how do you make the impossible feel somewhat possible?
MU student Claire Jenkinsย has been in a long-distance relationship for three years, but she doesn't let the space keep her from feeling surrounded by her partner's touch. โThe closest thing I could say is if you have a sweatshirt,โ Jenkins says. โI wear Joeโs sweatshirt every single night before bed.โ
Recreating a loved one's touch through a clothing swap can make you feel like youโre wrapped in a hug from a distance. To go even further, you can buy each other hoodies from local retailers such as Glikโsย or get college sweatshirts fromย Rally House and swap them each timeย you reunite.
Quality timeย
Quality time is a broad love language, but the main thing to remember is that intentionality is important. โThe funny thing about quality time is you donโt need six hours of it in a day,โ Vossenkemper says. โIt could be once a week for an hour where you are very engaged with one another.โ
Ashlie Lester, a professor of intimate and romantic relationships at MU, recommends doing activities together over the phone to add a little fun to your quality time. โWe need shared experiences,โ Lester says. โIt could be as simple as watching a movie together, or you could both go on a hike that day and describe what you see.โ
As Mother Nature begins to grace us with her sunshine this spring,ย take a walk on the MKT Nature and Fitness Trailย or through Capen Park while on FaceTime with your partner and soak up some rays andย quality time.
Send your partner a love letter as a way to show your appreciation and love through words of affirmation.ย
Words of affirmationย
Words of affirmation can go far beyond compliments and may even come in the form of gifts,ย Vossenkemper says. โIt could be cards, it could be letters, it could be text messages,โ she says. โIt could be something thatโs a little more specific about what the person is doing and why it matters to you and what about them is so special.โ
If you envy Romeo and Juliet, pick upย some stationery from a local shop such asย Poppy Made by Handย and profess your deepest admiration for your partner through love letters. If a simple yet sweet text is more your style, tell your partner youโre proud of them for their work in the relationship or any recent accomplishments in their life.
Gift givingย
When it comes to giving your loved one a gift, it's important to think about what your person loves. โGift-giving really reflects the act of being thought of,โ Vossenkemper says.ย
She says it's not always about the gift itself, but the meaning behind it.ย And today, sending gifts can be as easy as clicking a button online. โSometimes Joe will Amazon me things,โ Jenkins says. โOne time he sent me a stuffed octopus just because I had made a comment about it.โ
If you prefer one-of-a-kind gifts, head toย Bluestem Missouri Craftsย and pick up something handmade for a care package with your partnerโs favorite snacks and things they love.ย
